Comfort Zone

pic source: http://thisisindexed.com/

A tad bit funny to find a definition of comfort zone on wikipedia :-) ...but ofcourse.

The comfort zone is a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk (White 2009).[1] A person's personality can be described by his or her comfort zones. Highly successful persons may routinely step outside their comfort zones, to accomplish what they wish. A comfort zone is a type of mental conditioning that causes a person to create and operate mental boundaries. Such boundaries create an unfounded sense of security. Like inertia, a person who has established a comfort zone in a particular axis of his or her life, will tend to stay within that zone without stepping outside of it. To step outside a person's comfort zone, they must experiment with new and different behaviours, and then experience the new and different responses that then occur within their environment.
More at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comfort_zone

Relationships a mirror

                                                                         pic source: http://th01.deviantart.net

Growing up in India reading about self realized sages and yogis, I had concluded that the path to self realization invariably involved renouncing the world, meditation in seclusion and such.  In reality, perfection in isolation is an illusion, is it not?  It is only when we come in contact with others do we really know who we are.  Relationships are a mirror in which we get to see ourselves. 

Yet, we are usually busy reflecting on the behavior of those we have a relationship with - be it a partner, spouse, friend, coworker or boss.   "Person X acted a certain way and has hurt me", "I am always late to appointments because of Person Y" etc.  And thus, we feel helpless, depressed or unhappy when there are issues in relationships. Wait, aren't relationships a mirror onto ourselves?  Why then do we always focus on evaluating or judging the other person?   

As Jiddu Krishnamurti says in "The Book of Life"

Self-knowledge is not according to any formula. You may go to a psychologist or a psychoanalyst to find out about yourself, but that is not self-knowledge. Self-knowledge, comes into being when we are aware, of ourselves in relationship, which shows what we are from moment to moment.

Relationship is a mirror in which to see ourselves as we actually are. But most of us are incapable of looking at ourselves as we are in relationship, because we immediately begin to condemn or justify what we see. We judge, we evaluate, we compare, we deny or accept, but we never observe actually what is, and for most people this seems to be the most difficult thing to do; yet this alone is the beginning of self-knowledge.

If one is able to see oneself as one is in this extraordinary mirror of relationship which does not distort, if one can just look into this mirror with full attention and see actually what is, be aware of it without condemnation, without judgment, without evaluation—and one does this when there is earnest interest—then one will find that the mind is capable of freeing itself from all conditioning; and it is only then that the mind is free to discover that which lies beyond the field of thought

After all, however learned or however petty the mind may be, it is consciously or unconsciously limited, conditioned, and any extension of this conditioning is still within the field of thought. So freedom is something entirely different.

It is only in relationships that we grow if we realize that relationships allow us to become self aware. And self awareness is the first step towards self realization.   All of us are in relationships day in and day out, so we must all be capable of self realization, isn't it?  There goes the myth that self realization is just for sages meditating on the mountains!  
Our behavior in relationships is a far more powerful reflection of how self realized we are, and a means to attaining our full potential as self-aware beings.

Attack the idea, not the person

pic source: http://copernicc.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/idea.jpg

This is a continuation of my recent blog about compassion for all human beings, even those whose actions are against us or society at large.  That's all good but if we are compassionate to all human beings what about those responsible for heinous acts such as robbery, murder and terrorism?  Isn't punishing or even eliminating those people the only way out?

Let's examine some reasons for a person acting a certain way.

A person's action may be due to an underlying need or desperation such as poverty, hunger, abuse, low self esteem, discontentment etc.

Further, a person's action may not reflect their true intention.  Often, we human beings intend one thing, and do something totally unintended because of reacting emotionally.  Thus the galore of misunderstandings, heart breaks and so on.

A person's action may be because they subscribe to an idea, ideology or group think because they relate to it strongly and/or because of a need to fit in or belong to a community, be it a religious affiliation, a political faction or even a terrorist faction.

In the above cases, can punishment or elimination of the person solve the situation?

In the first case, punishment does not address the underlying need.  Clearly imprisoning criminals does not root out crime for as long as the underlying cause exists, it will continue to fuel the criminal behavior.

In the second case where action does not match intent, punishing, ignoring or eliminating the person can only make matters worse.

The third case is very interesting.  The idea or idealogy has a life of its own and eliminating the people who are subscribed to it does nothing to affect the idea itself.  On the contrary, it may strengthen it!  For example, war against terrorism only fuels terrorists into thinking they are fighting for a just cause and strengthens their conviction to carry on.  It does nothing to address the underlying bitterness and issues that lead to the extremist views.

The idea vs The person

I think the fundamental issue here is that we often treat the action and actor as one unit.  If we do not like or disagree with someone's action, we reflect our displeasure on the person rather than evaluating the act itself.  Thus our reaction is often more emotional and less rational.  No wonder there is so much strife and grief in the world!

So, can we separate the idea from the person?  One might argue that who's idea it is does matter.  For example, you might be more inclined to consider an investment advice from Warren Buffet than say your neighbor down the street.  Certainly - the person's knowledge and expertise does matter.  However, evaluating the idea will inherently draw out the knowledge/expertise, and there is still no need to focus on the person.  In other words, focusing on the idea/thought/action will allow us to focus on the "what" rather than the "who".  This in turn will provide clarity on the "why" that caused the "what" and will help us identify the "how" to move forward to solve the situation.

Next time, Observe yourself - are you evaluating the idea or the person?  If you disagree, are you attacking the idea or the person?  Stop right there.  Can you evaluate the idea without reacting to the person?  Are you able to discuss the idea / thought / action calmly?  Do you see compassion emerging for the person even if you disagree with his/her idea/action?

Not always easy for sure, ...something I am trying to do consciously as well.

I understand...and I am not angry

pic source: http://gapingvoid.com/2007/11/04/compassion/

Like many, I grew up in an atmosphere of much discipline, and that is reflected in the choices I make day in and day out.  I am thankful for that inculcation and happy with the choices I am making for myself.  At the same time, I am swept over with the feeling of understanding for the choices others make, and I realize that I am not angry even if it does not fit my moral compass or even the moral compass of the society at large.  I suppose this is called compassion - acceptance of fellow human beings without judgement.

Growing up, we are taught to discriminate right from wrong.  This naturally leads to classifying people as "good" or "bad" people.  Some classifications are societal, that the human society has adopted to maintain law and order and avoid chaos.  For example, most of us would agree that a person who kills another person is a bad person, a person who steals is a bad person etc.  Other classifications are based on our upbringing and specific circumstances we encounter. The atmosphere I grew up in classified people who consumed alcohol as bad people.  That is clearly not the definition in most other societies.  It was a learning experience for me when I encountered a society that thinks otherwise, and I was able to separate habits from character and realize that not all those who drank were bad people. 

The former case - the societal classification is the harder one to reconcile with.  How can one possibly see a person who is violent or otherwise harmful to society in a lenient light?  Can you for example think of Hitler or Osama Bin Laden without feeling a surge of anger for their atrocious acts?  Can you think kind thoughts for people like Bernie Madoff who's malpractices and selfishness ruined many lives?  I use these examples because extreme cases help us validate our thoughts.  They stress test our mind and unmask our underlying belief system that we would otherwise not see in many less extreme cases we encounter regularly.

So again, the question is can we think kindly of people who are in violation of societal norms, or in violation of our own personal moral and ethical standards.  Thinking kindly does not mean we agree with them, or compromise our own standards - not at all.  What it does mean is having a fundamental feeling of understanding and not rejecting them outright even if their actions deserve outright rejection per our societal or individual standards.

A way to do it may be to "walk in their shoes", as a popular proverb says.  I have done so mentally when encountered with a difficult situation - a scenario analysis of possible ways one could react - pushing the boundaries and thinking of possible extreme reactions.  When I look at a person and observe their actions, I have started to look deeper and try to understand what is causing them to act a certain way.  I may not agree with their actions, yet I can get a glimpse of what may be underlying the action.  While this may not materially change anything, it allows me to shift my focus from the action itself to the person, and feel a sense of connection or bonding without needing to agree with the action.  Like another great proverb eloquently says "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some sort of battle".

Developing such understanding does not come very easily.  In fact, it may be a life long process, and may often be a recurring internal debate.  Most of us feel such compassion easily for those that are weaker or less fortunate than ourselves.  However, compassion does not flow easily when judgement of actions comes into the picture - the judgement that is based on the framework that society and we ourselves have built up over time.  If we can feel this sense of understanding for fellow human beings, we will be able to embrace humanity - a global hug if you will - and move forward with a sense of connectedness towards advancement of humanity as a whole.

2011 in review, On to 2012

Following my annual tradition (2007,2008,2009,2010) of reviewing the past year and laying out some priorities for the upcoming year, I contemplated about this year's post.  Instead of a laundry list of what I did in 2011 and what I want to do in the upcoming year, I decided that it would be more meaningful to me as well as to you the reader if I described my learning and insights through the year.

2011 was a meditative year in many ways.  My dormant curiosity about the meaning of life was rekindled through weekly philosophical talks and Raj Yoga meditation sessions that I attended with my parents at the Brahma Kumaris center in Los Angeles.  Many philosophical texts I had read in the past resurfaced in my mind and started to make more sense.  I would like to share some practical insights distilled out of this ongoing contemplation and experience.

The 3 “i”s

A 3D picture seen without glasses looks blurred and distorted doesn’t it?  Now imagine that you – yes YOU, are the 3D picture.  Your consciousness, your experience of life, your very existence – all of it is like the 3D picture – blurred and distorted !

Why?  We humans develop complex psyches as we grow up.  As we interact with other human beings, we start projecting ourselves based on how we are perceived and how we want to be perceived.

Each person we come across perceives us differently based on their frame of reference – the parent, the teacher, the classmate, the boss, the colleague.  How we are perceived is not in our hands is it?  Yet, we obsess with perceptions, we feel attached to how we want to be perceived and continually develop projections.  The projected “i” may be to manage expectations of the person we are interacting with, to conform to social norms or to manage fears or insecurity we develop as we face situations in life.  Call the projected “i” the ego if you will.  Soon, the real “i” is blurred through the multiple projections and perceptions of the “i”, to the point that most of us forget who the real “i” is.  Most of us humans live this artificial blur our entire life, a life of perceptions and projections rather than living as our real selves in the one life we have.

So..how do we correct the blur and see the real “i” clearly and allow the real “i” to experience life.  Are there magical 3i glasses we can wear?

The “magical 3i glasses” that ancient yogis and philosophers alike have prescribed is meditation.  Meditation involves peeling away the projections and reconnecting with the real self.  It is popular belief that meditation is a practice done once a day in solitude, and rightly so initially as we learn to reconnect with ourselves.  Eventually though, the goal is to live each moment in a meditative state, to experience life as the real “i”.  Just like prescription glasses – there are different ways to meditate and different techniques have been developed to reconnect with the real self.  The end goal is the same no matter which method you adopt. 

Concentric Circles of Life

Imagine your life as concentric circles, the inner most circle being "Me" and outermost circle being say “Job” (there could be other circles too). 

We act Outside-In most of the time - that is, we allow external things to influence us.  For example, "I don't have a job, so my life is miserable".  This shatters our inner energy and peace.  Instead if we act Inside-out - this will keep our peace and inner energy.  We can (re)build the outer circles if we are acting from inside-out because the core "me" is strong. 

It is important to realize that everyone's concentric circles are different.  When we come into conflict with someone, we must realize this and accept them as they are.

Living in the moment

We have addressed the real “i” and acting inside-out so far.  The other dimension that affects how we experience life is time - the past, the present and the future.  We cruise through life largely based on past memories or worries about the future.  When we see a scenery, a related memory kicks in.  When we meet someone, our stored thoughts and feelings for the person surface and affects how we interact with that person.  Memories are certainly useful to help us navigate the world.  But those same memories also take us away from the present moment and separate the experience from us.  When this separation occurs, we no longer experience the moment authentically and to the fullest.  

source: http://www.petercallesen.com/paper/a4-papercuts/

Jiddu Krishnamurti called this the separation of the observer from the observed and said the human potential will be realized when “the observer is the observed”.  I found Jiddu’s texts profound and yet complex to understand.  2011 has been the year when I have finally made sense of it, thanks to Osho’s explanation here.  A very simple explanation – I would recommend that everybody reads it.

Space Time continuum

I heard on the news recently that there is a proposal to standardize the calendar such that each year would have 364 days, there would be no leap years and all months would have 30 or 31 days and this would in turn result in dates and days matching up so that the dates always fall on the same day every year – so for example you would always have your birthdays on Mondays every year (that would suck right?!)  Well, interesting how we can switch our calendars and change how we perceive time isn’t it?

While the world celebrates another new year, I am in deep contemplation about the time space continuum.  I have recently started reading Bergson’s philosophical texts and will have more to write about his theory as I continue to explore the topic, for the moment I shall leave it aside with this quote:

“In truth,” writes Bergson, “every perception is already memory. Practically we perceive only the past, the pure present being the invisible progress of the past gnawing into the future.”

Sometimes, things just fall in your lap don’t they?  Just as I was mulling over Bergson’s philosophy, his book “Creative Evolution” has come into my possession today – it was one of the last few books left on the shelves of Bodhi Tree Bookstore on Melrose that closed its doors on Dec 31^st 2011.

Evolution from reaction to response
Basic human instincts to Nonviolence

We have evolved from the primitive early man in many ways.  Yet we often resort to our primitive human instincts of fight or flight rather than using insight - our advanced intelligence while dealing with everyday situations. 

From www.turning-the-tide.org

“Evolution has equipped us with the capacity to respond to threats in a few different ways: fight or flight.  In our society one response to conflict and disagreement is to attack, to be angry or to hurt, to fight verbally, psychologically or physically—or any combination of these. This response is summarized by the word ‘fight’. The opposite is ‘flight’, for example feeling hurt and saying nothing, not speaking up when you disagree or worse—pretending to agree when you do not.Instinct has provided us with these two responses, but they are inadequate in today’s world. Fight does not solve problems and can often make matters worse. Flight does not solve injustices either. Silence is consent.  

‘Insight’ offers a Third Way, the way of nonviolence. It requires not instinct but considerate and thoughtful response, clean and clear communication, not passive acceptance but active intervention.  The way of nonviolence is not only about peaceful resolution of conflict. It is also about working to overcome injustice and oppression, it is part of our inner journey, lifestyle and personal evolution."

From www.psychologytoday.com  Read full article here

"From your heart, stomach, and gut, the sensations zoom up your spinal cord and enter the lowest part of your brain (the brainstem), where they are immediately assessed by that fidgety alarm button, your amygdala, and other deep-in-the-brain limbic players, including your insula -- all well below your conscious awareness, before you can even think about it. (In fact, some recent research has shown that your limbic brain responds to what your eyes see even before the visual part of your brain knows you've seen something.) Your limbic brain is what I like to call The Determinator. The Determinator makes one of three calls in the face of your body's signals of potential danger: 

If the Determinator judges the incoming information as life-threatening danger, one of the three parts of the circuit (the dorsal vagus, which runs between the stomach and the brainstem) leaps into action, and the body immobilizes - shuts or slows way down, basically "playing dead" to protect itself. ("Freeze") 

If the Determinator determines that there is danger that isn't life-threatening, a different part of the circuit (our old friend the sympathetic branch, a.k.a. "the accelerator") gets the body into mobilization in response to the threat - the all-too-familiar "fight-or-flight" response - which is also a way that the body tries to protect itself. ("Fight" or "Flight") 

Finally - here's the really cool part - if the Determinator's assessment is that the incoming information indicates that things are safe, a third part of the circuit (the ventral vagus) essentially "turns off" the fight-flight response, and social engagement can happen - a calm state that supports being connected with others. Being in this state allows for better health, growth, and communication. This could be thought of as a third, more "advanced" method of self-preservation, and it would make sense that this would be hard-wired into our bodies just like the first two, if only for survival and evolutionary purposes. ("Insight") 

That third part of the circuit, the ventral vagus, is a well-insulated, fast-running nerve that runs between the brainstem and the heart. Not only does it calm down the heart and lungs, but it also has a role to play in perceiving the sound of other people's voices and their facial expressions. It activates when we perceive (again, at a level below our awareness) a softening of the facial muscles in others, and a relaxation in their tone of voice -- in other words, when when our body senses that it's safe to be connected. When the ventral vagus is "on", we have a greater capacity to really listen, in a tuned-in way, to others. 

So, being able to get unhooked from the moment in the argument, to remember who you are (not a gazelle being chased by a lion, for example, nor a wounded rabid dog who's been cornered). Take a breath. Feel some compassion for yourself, smiling inwardly. Take another breath, and with compassion for the scared person standing across from you, smile outwardly."

source: http://eiriu-eolas.org/2011/11/25/polyvagal-theory/

Something as simple as a smile helps transition the body physiologically into the "insight" mode where we are capable of responding nonviolently instead of reacting instinctively.  I am convinced that Nonviolence is truly the highest moral of humankind - acting from a position of love instead of hate, standing up for what you believe in rather than standing up against someone is by far the most difficult thing to do when ego comes in the way.  Thus, nonviolence naturally ties in with operating as the real “i” where ego is nonexistent.

2011, a year of Nonviolent Revolutions

2011 will be remembered as a year of nonviolent revolutions around the globe.  The Occupy movement, the most recent nonviolent endeavor has already become a forum for collective thought process to envision the future.  I am hopeful that the world will embrace nonviolence more and more in the days to come as the fabric of collective human consciousness develops. 

There is much to say, but I stop short with some quotes from Occupy LA activitists that resonated:

"Unlearn everything.  Relearn yourself." -JR

"When people can lead themselves they will no longer need leaders. When people can heal themselves they will no longer need healers. When people begin taking personal and collective responsibility, and in doing so taking back their power, they will no longer need external validation for that power." -A

"We have been dumbed down, we have had the 'civilization' stripped from our collective core to the degree that we can barely communicate with each other anymore except within our own separate 'class'. Our society doesn't really exist except in concept or packaged in the mainstream media to be imitated like parrots." - JM

Collective human consciousness
a.k.a the internets - facebook & twitter

Our collective consciousness has been turbo charged with the invention of internet and more recently, social networks.  The messages we post, the information we subscribe to, the people we talk to all become a part of our stream of consciousness and in turn affect our thought process and our perception of everything around us.  Facebook’s recent introduction of timelines is a step towards visualizing our thought stream (amazing how facebook read my mind just as I was contemplating this topic :-))  I think an interesting social experiment would be to color code everyone’s timeline based on the kind of information they subscribe to, then zoom out and compare the thought streams to look for commonality – may be we will see a pattern emerge akin to “great men think alike”?  May be we could adjust our thought stream consciously to become better human beings?  Another book from Bodhi Tree called “Global Brain” beckons me to delve into this topic some more in the coming days.

Musings apart, one thing is for sure.  While twitter is largely interest based clustering, facebook has brought people with a common past together.  Someone called Snow White Bui said very aptly:

"Having a common past is not enough to sustain a relationship, only a shared vision of the future can."  

How true.  We are here together in this journey of life.  What we make of it is entirely up to us now. 

So, here’s to a shared vision of the future.  I conclude with this eloquent poem by Rudyard Kipling.

"If" by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you 
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; 
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, 
But make allowance for their doubting too; 
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, 
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, 
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating, 
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; 
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; 
If you can meet with triumph and disaster 
And treat those two imposters just the same; 
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken 
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, 
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, 
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings 
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, 
And lose, and start again at your beginnings 
And never breath a word about your loss; 
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew 
To serve your turn long after they are gone, 
And so hold on when there is nothing in you 
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, 
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch; 
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; 
If all men count with you, but none too much; 
If you can fill the unforgiving minute 
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run - 
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, 
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

My Spirituality & Shri Sathya Sai Baba

Very early on in life, I realized that there are a few topics that are best not discussed in a gathering, religion and food choices being two of them. Topics based on faith or conviction are personal choices and are inevitably contentious beyond reasoning. Blogging changed that perception allowing free expression of one's thoughts in writing. As an erstwhile blogger, this is therefore my personal account and not meant to question or debate anyone else's beliefs. This is an account of the shaping of my spirituality (or lack thereof) and the self-proclaimed godman Sathya Sai Baba of India who passed away at the age of 86 yesterday, April 24 2011.

I was just getting done with a homework assignment last night about an hour after the 11.59pm deadline when I noticed status updates about Sai Baba's passing after being admitted on March 28th at the super-specialty hospital he built.

For over a week, my daily calls with my parents inevitably included a discussion of Sai Baba's health. "I think he is already gone, they are not announcing it because of the succession issues to his large property", said my mom. "There are more media people and police in Prashanti Nilayam than devotees". "Doctors say he is in critical condition. People still think he's going to survive as he said he'll live on till 96. Crazy people." my mom chided. So I knew today that I had to talk to my mom, even though it was 3am, close to my bed time. "Did you hear about Baba?" She said. Yes, I saw messages, I muttered. "I feel upset, I don't feel like doing anything today." She said. "He was the reason for the spirituality in our family, the trigger for the spiritual evolution we have experienced over the years. I was 15 years old when he visited Ooty, still remember the visits to seek his darshan (viewing)". She recounted.

And that triggered my own personal memories and this writing.

I was introduced to Sai Baba at a very early age. I remember climbing up the hill on a snaking road with hundreds of people for a chance sighting of Sai Baba in his Ooty Ashram. I remember sitting in the crowd that waited with bated breath to get a glimpse of the godman. I remember seeing him glide out of his home in an orange flowing garb with his right hand close to his chest gesturing subtly as if he was drawing circles in thin air. His appearance lasted less than 2 minutes, he touched the outstretched hands of some people, took letters from others, and then glided away, pleasant smile on his face throughout. I remember seeing pictures of Sai Baba among Hindu gods at home. I remember seeing books with his teachings that my mom sincerely read, even getting a small easy to read kids book for myself. I remember the skepticism that my dad seemed to have, that was generally overruled by all the devotion going around in the family. My grandma was a huge devotee and I heard about the time Sai Baba had visited my grandparents home in Ooty in his early days. I remember the visit to Prasanthi Nilayam - Sathya Sai Baba's main ashram located in Puttaparthi, the village where Sai Baba was born, 125 kilometers north-east of Bangalore. I remember observing the selfless service that people were engaged in at Puttaparthi. Through all of this, the greatest impression on me was Love and compassion for fellow human beings.

This early introduction is probably what triggered the question "What is life? Who is God?" in my mind as an 8 year old. I remember the long walks with my neighbor Meena, also my age, as we discussed matters about spirituality, life and the world as we grew up. Growing up in a Hindu Brahmin family, studying in a Catholic school, with a best friend who was Muslim, seeing the diversity of religion and habits and then turning to Sai Baba's teachings about equality of religions shifted my thinking beyond religions very quickly to a formless supreme being, not tied to any religion, and religions being paths to reach a common goal. I discarded idol worship, and so also Sai Baba's claim of being an avatar of Hindu Gods Shiva and Parvathi. The meaning of the Hindu Gods as symbolisms for virtues that humans strive for rather than literal personalities, would become apparent to me later through readings of Vedanta and other texts.

As years rolled by, my family was mostly uninterested in the debates about Sai Baba's magical powers. My mom reasoned that irrespective of the controversies, one would have to acknowledge that he had done much more for humanity than any one of us could even imagine. That seemed to be a fair statement, and probably a learning that I carry with me, that you can learn from people when you don't judge them. The moment you judge people, your reasoning becomes shrouded by an emotional reaction to what you disagree with, and that takes away the opportunity to learn from them. Sai Baba stayed in the background in my family's home, making an occasional appearance in festivals that typically ended with the whole family singing "Pavana Purusha Sayeesha, Charananu Gavo Sarvesha, Sowmya Rupa Sathya Baba, Kavuthai kai mukheevee". I am still not sure what it means, but it remains a favorite bhajan and my family's chorus rings in my ears.

The quest for Truth would lead me to read various religious texts including the Bhagavad Gita and the Bible and texts from various thinkers including Gandhiji, Sri Aurobindo, Jiddu Krishnamurthy, and many others. Through all this Sai Baba was pretty much out of the picture except for an occasional spike of interest in the controversies when I would google or look at youtube videos that exposed his magical powers as black magic. I remember mentioning it to my dad over one of our daily calls expecting him to agree heartily with the skeptic view, and instead being surprised by his retort which was "Doesn't matter Archer. He had to find a way to get the attention of the people, so he used such means." Indeed, what brilliant brand building by Sathya Sai Baba - his well recognized style of a large crowning hairstyle, his orange garbs, his ability to attract millions of people as followers, his ability to raise enormous donations...infact, I wonder if there is a HBR case study on his brand. And the fact that he put his brand to good use of building hospitals and schools and bringing water to cities while governments could not, certanly makes him stand out as a unique and accomplished individual.

My spirituality would evolve through further questioning, to a point of deciding that certain questions were useless as they could only be explained by human theories and speculation with no way whatsoever of knowing the truth. I would debate what to label my current state of spirituality and realize that more than just being agnostic, I was a humanist as my primary concern was fellow human beings and the presence or absence of God did not really matter. (Side note: This lead to the writing of various blogs on this topic - Labeling it, The human conspiracy, The anomaly of Individuality, Unity of the human kind).

And although a disbeliever in Sai Baba's godliness, I credit the evolution of my spirituality as my mom said, to the introduction to Sai Baba at an early age. As recently as 3 weeks ago, I came across a Sathya Sai Organization in Japan collecting relief material and delivering them to Tsumani hit areas. It is this sense of compassion and service to humanity that he leaves behind, and for that I salute him. Rest in Peace, Shri Sathya Sai Baba.

Arch

2010 in review, Onto 2011

Sipping a cup of hot ginger chai and watching the raindrops on my window, I am catching up on my review of 2010 even as 2011 compels me to look ahead.

Looking at my year end posts from past years, it appears that most of what i wrote for 2009 held true for 2010. I savored every minute of 2010, and it was indeed a year of much learning and focus on what mattered the most. The year began in India with the whole family around a New Year's cake after many years. It was however time to return to home turf and plunge back into the madness of business school. Over the year, my brain trained on Macroeconomics, Finance, Brand Management, Negotiations, Marketing Engineering, Operations and Entrepreneurship amongst other things... gosh, no wonder it feels quite muddled! 2010 was a year when I felt humbled to have been given the opportunity to meet Coach John Wooden (just months before his passing) and receive the John Wooden Leadership Fellowship award. A year when I finally stopped turning a blind eye to the homeless situation in Los Angeles and participated in the 1000 Homes Competition as Team Pasadena with classmates Nancy Sagar, Ujjal Ghoshtagore and three other domain experts - Colleen Edwards, Tish Glaser, Jimmy Miyoshi. A year I got back to my wacky creativity and entered the UCLA Suberbowl Ad Contestwith teammates Rutul Dave, Paul Ghetto and Bryan Miller and much support and love from my classmates - especially Erik Welch and his son Wyatt Welch who modeled for the video! We won an honorable mention, not bad for an overnight video editing effort.

With seemingly too much time on my hands over the summer break, I volunteered for a business plan research with The Children's Partnership and worked alongside Wendy Lazaurus, Cofounder of TCP to research the business aspect of one of my favorite subjects - 3D Virtual Worlds. I was blown away to learn that virtual goods was a multi-billion dollar business in China and with the US hitting around $1.6 Billion in 2010 - much potential for growth in this space. The Children's Partnership was kind enough to make a donation to CRY (Child Rights and You) as a return gesture. Talking about CRY, CRY SoCal reached new heights under the able leadership of Payal Shah, our new Action Center Leader. CRY SoCal conducted many successful events including A Bollywood Fling,My Vision Campaign for Children at the Artwallah Festival, the annual CRY Walk as well as an ongoing runners meetup group called CRY Couch to Ouch. CRY SoCal was awarded the NET IP 2010 Community Service Award. Really proud of Team CRY SoCal for making 2010 such a great year!

Another notable event in 2010 was my desire to contribute tangibly to world harmony finally coming to fruition. In January 2010, I came across The GandhiServe Foundation and a wonderful global community called Gandhitopia created by Peter Rühe. With encouragement and guidance from Peter I embarked on an attempt to bring the principles of Nonviolence to the forefront through a global campaign to observe UN declaration of the International Day of Nonviolence (IDNV) on October 2^nd 2010. What started initially as an online drive to take The Pledge of Nonviolence turned into an event with IDNV meetups around the globe. The first Nonviolence Newsletter has pictures from the October 2nd events. This effort inadvertently lead to the creation of www.PeaceTroops.org that will have a life of its own in the coming years. I met many compassionate people through this endeavor who have devoted their lives to develop peace and harmony and for that I am thankful. I am especially thankful to Anna, the artist of the Peace Here and Now video, Vishal Changrani, developer of the Pledge of Nonviolence Android App, Veronica Valles, chair of a “Season for Peace and Nonviolence” (www.64-days.org) for posting wonderful peace messages on the IDNV Facebook page and Susan Derby of The Self Realization Fellowship for helping plan and organize the Los Angeles event atthe beautiful Lake Shrine.

At work, the Security Technology now called “Ubiquity” that the team I am a part of works on won the Wall Street Journal Innovation award. Yay for that! Personally, it was a year of a loss of a dear classmate Stacey Bryant who touched me with her compassionate ways in the few months I had known her. It was also a year of getting back in touch with many long lost friends and family, thanks to facebook. I even sorted out an unsettled squabble with a classmate from second grade.. Fancy that! 2010 was a year when my nephew Saurabh went to college, making me feel really young! A year when my neice Dhwani was allowed to join facebook, and the first thing she did was to create a page called “The Greener World” to raise awareness about global warming and green living. A year my cousin Lata started the USA wing of Akshaya Trust to take CNN Hero Narayanan Krishnan’s work forward. Proud of all of them for dedicating their time and energy for good causes. I guess you could say that nonprofit runs in our blood as a family J. 2010 was also a year for a reunion with my wonderful virtual friends from Lively – the Livelyzens as we call ourselves. We met in another virtual world called IMVU and it was like homecoming – so amazing that people from different corners of the world can feel like one family in a virtual world.If that is possible in a virtual world, why not in the real world eh.

Boy that certainly has been a busy year. On to 2011… while I know school is going to consume me for the first half of the year, I plan to dedicate some time to develop some of my hobbies – learning to play the guitar and dslr photography. 2011 will be a year when my entrepreneurial endeavors will move forward – atleast by a few inches! Continuous progress will be the name of the game. CRY SoCal and PeaceTroops will inevitably be a part of my year’s activities. I have also come across a few wonderful initiatives called Schools for India and Gandhi for Children, and I have a compelling urge to contribute to them if I can. While facebook has its place, I shall strive to reconnect more personally with friends and family, an art that seems to be getting lost in this new media age. While I am looking forward to graduating this year, I know I will miss it all when its done - I hope to make the best of the six months ahead and enjoy the time with my classmates. I am looking forward to spending time with my parents after my graduation in July. I am starting the year with a Clay Cooker J with a goal of of eating healthier this year! But in the corner of my head, I am wondering if I can bake a cake in the clay pot haha! I don’t know if I looked at 2001 as a start of a decade, 2011 definitely feels like the start of one and it will be 2020 before we know it!The world has certainly changed in front of eyes over the last decade, and I look forward to a decade when people come together in harmony and work together as a human race.

Alright, time for some more chai and to gear up for the work week ahead – which starts at school with a class on “Disruptive Technologies of Tomorrow”, seems like a fitting topic to kick off the decade don’t you think?! (scene closes with humming... "I here raindrops on my window, joy is like the rain..." J )

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A Beggar by Choice

Can I be a beggar on the streets?

Roaming freely where my feet take me

liberated from the clutches of responsibility,

the dos, the don'ts, the musts, the must nots..

Then I'll know what is really on my mind

And do what I really must do.

Look a fellow human in the eye and show

the simplest gesture of love - an uninhibited smile.

All I need is a morsel, I ask no more

I am not lazy, nor menial nor vile

I would just be a beggar by choice.

Can I be a beggar on the streets?

I took a long walk yesterday through busy streets I had only driven through. A Salvation Army rehab center, workshops and many others on the way. As I stepped into the street I saw people sitting on the side walk from afar - some looked worn, some looked strange, some were scary. I approached with caution wondering if it was a good idea to walk through these streets. As I passed each of them, I received a warm smile - from each and every one of them. I felt ashamed of my hesitant smile. Ashamed that I had been afraid of fellow humans. I walked on with a renewed spirit. This time when I passed by someone I smiled, and they smiled back. An amazing experience. And all it took was an uninhibited smile.

If you can, go for a walk today and be sure to smile at a stranger or two.

Note: I logged into my blogger account to write about this and presto, found a draft of my vagabond thoughts of a beggar on the street staring at me that I had written on 6/2 - I had long forgotten about it. Guess it was waiting for me to take the walk and come back to post it!

One life to live So much to give So much to share!

One of my favorite hymns. Hard to find online.. Wikipedia says this was part of "B for Brotherhood" by the group called Brotherhood of Man and was released as a single in 1979 by Price & Lee.

People all over the world
Reach out your hand touch one another
People over the world,
Just understand and love each other.
We have one life to live
So much to give and so much to share.
There is love to be found,
Just look around, there’s happiness there.

People over the world,
We are the same, just different colors
People over the world,
Love without change, like sisters and brothers
Face each day with a smile and
In a while sunshine appears
You’ll feel warm deep inside,
No need to hide from danger and pain.

People over the world,
Reach out your hand, touch one another
People over the world,
Just understand, reach out your hand!

THE BANYAN

Not the tree! It all started with a mail from Clique IT, an employee club at work saying that there was a trip planned to The Banyan, an organization for mentally ill homeless women. Employees of HCL Technologies belonging to GTECH and NT-Team were requested to make contributions in the form of old clothes and money. Big cardboard boxes for the old clothes and a cash box were kept near the entrance.

Initially, it was a slow start and the cardboard boxes seemed too big for the old clothes, but as days went by, there was a steady increase in the collection of clothes in the boxes. At one point it looked as though the clothes will exceed the size of boxes. After a sizeable collection, it was decided that the trip would be on the 4th of November, 1999.

On the day of the visit, there was a lot of hustle and bustle as the clothes were being sorted out into Men's Wear and Women's Wear. Then around 11:30 a.m., we left for The Banyan. For all of us, it was the first visit to The Banyan and for some, it was the first visit to a home for the destitute. All of us were actually apprehensive as to what we were going to experience. After a little difficulty, we finally found the place. We went to the Administrative Office first.

We were greeted by one Ms.Anuradha, who is a volunteer at The Banyan. She gave us an overview of the organization and how they manage it. We were all amazed when we heard that The Banyan is run by two young girls, Vaishnavi and Vandana who established it in the year 1993. It was painful and equally shocking to hear from Ms.Anuradha that city bred people are very conscious to have a mentally ill member in their family because of their reputation with their neighbours. This organization not only helps destitute women on the roads, but also those, who are shunned by their family members. We then went to the place where the inmates actually lived. We saw middle aged and old women. All of them were enthusiastic and were extremely happy to welcome us. Some of the women hugged us and seemed pleased to see all of us. Meanwhile, many women tied Friendship Bands on our wrists. These bands were made by the inmates and they were bright and beautiful.

About 75 inmates are housed in the three medium-sized rooms of the house. It is really pathetic to even think that all these 75 women have only three toilets to share. The women were sitting in small groups and doing things of their interest, like drawing, cutting paper into various shapes, etc. Some of them tried making conversation with us. They were all curious to know our names. All of us tried to be at home with them to the maximum extent possible. The inmates spoke different languages as they were all from different parts of the country. This was a very satisfying manifestation of Unity in Diversity.

Before leaving, we gave away the sweets we had specially ordered for them. When it was finally time to leave, we said bye to all of them to which they all waved out. All of us came out with only one thought in our minds that this could happen to any of us. We then came back to The Banyan office to hand over the cash collected by HCL Technologies. In response to a proposal from the employees of HCL Technologies, The Banyan has agreed to make use of a part of the money collected to sponsor a Special Dinner for the inmates of The Banyan on The Night of Deepavalli.